Friday, September 18, 2009


A talk with my Jason the other day yielded to a topic of chivalry. For some reason he seems to think chivalry is a fading art, fast falling into the depths of old world. In his perfect world he would have been alive during the 40's and 50's when being a gentleman and being chivalrous were expected and admired. Today's world you just don't see enough of a guy who can be a Man's man and still be a Chivalrous man. As Jason put it "If chivalry is dead then feminism killed it." Well put. Maybe not entirely accurate but I'm sure a large part of it is brought on by the feminist movement. But does that mean we should just give up on being a gentleman? I tend to refer to the way my mother brought me up. Respect everyone. Look out for your women (by your women she meant Sisters, Aunts, Grandmothers, Friends). So how does a guy be chivalrous in today's world of equality?

Well to start you need to understand what chivalry is. It isn't just looking upon women as a weaker sex and babying them every chance you get. No, chivalry started way before our time and was popularized in Medieval days when Knights roamed the European lands. To be a Knight meant certain things were expected of you. You were required to be merciful, protect the weak, be brave and courageous, fair to all, and show gentleness and graciousness to all women. Knights would create codes of conduct and follow them very seriously so as to not bring dishonor to themselves. The code of Knighthood and their chivalrous conduct was geared around being a good and honorable person.

In today's society we view chivalry as a way of treating women when in fact its actually just good manners. There are a few rules that apply solely to women but most of them are something that most of our parents taught us when we were younger about how to act.

Some of the ways to be chivalrous today include:

-Holding the door open
-Pulling out a chair
-Ordering her food
-Giving her your jacket or just helping her with her jacket on and off
-Carrying something heavy for her
-Giving her your umbrella
-Giving her your cab
-Pumping her gas
-Standing up when a woman enters a room to join your company
-Letting a woman go first when entering a room
-Paying on a date
-Sending her flowers
-Call when you say you will
-Give up your seat for a woman or the elderly who is standing
-Removing your hat indoors
-Offer her a tissue (your handkerchief) if she needs one.
-Never spitting in her presence
-When walking, walk on the side towards the road, between her and traffic

Ladies, we understand that over the last 100 years or so you have fought very hard for your equality. That doesn't mean you can't allow us to take a masculine role and be gentleman. Allowing us to take a masculine role in no way shape or form implies that we take a dominant role and that you are forced into a weaker one. It just means you allow us to make that courteous gesture. Allow us to act like gentlemen without repercussion of getting called a jerk for not treating you as equals. Besides, as Jason put it, "When this girl wouldn't let me open her door or pull her chair out for her it was a huge turn off!"

I would hold a door open for a man just as I would a woman. When a guy does that for you it may not just mean he's thinking you as weaker or unable to perform tasks for yourself. It just means he is being respectful to women and placing another before himself. It has zero undertones of viewing you as the weaker sex. So don't let chivalry die. Embrace it. Allow a guy the chance to be a gentleman. We can't do it without you.


  1. SO TRUE!
    but not all women refuse,
    some men just dont care.

    chivalry is one of the sexiest traits in a man,
    well at least in my opinion.

  2. hhahaaaahhaaa chivalry ... no men has that trait , seriously

  3. Chivalry was invented to distract women from the fact we didn't have any rights, sooo...have fun with hat!

  4. I stumbled upon this blog post in a google image search for chivalry. These comments are making me so sad! My boyfriend does many of the things on this list--not because he has to or because I am incapable of doing them myself, but because it makes him feel good to be able to help me and take care of me. I often pack an extra lunch to take to work for him or get a soda that he likes when passing a soda machine--not because I have to, but because taking care of him or making him happy makes me happy. True chivalry has nothing to do with condescending to women. Men and women are different, and we take care of one another in our own ways. Can chivalry be used to belittle women? Sure. Has it been used in that way in the past? Sure. But it doesn't have to be that. Nothing gets better unless we believe it can. Keep the art alive, boys! :)